Tag Archives: grace

My Abortion Story, An Open Letter to Emily Letts


We have never met, but my wife and I just watched your abortion story video.

You invited us, and the world, into your story, so I thought I would invite you into mine.

While we may not have a lot in common, I know we have at least a few things, and they have to do with abortion. When I was 19 I got a friend pregnant. I too “wasn’t ready for a baby.” I had hopes and dreams ahead of me, and having a child seemed like the end of all those dreams. So we aborted our child.

Now, I am a man, so in some very significant ways my abortion experience was different than yours. But in many other ways, it was the same. You see, when our procedure was over, I too felt relief. I felt free to begin life again and make smarter choices. I could get a fresh start, and in many ways I did.

But what haunted me in the months and years afterwards was a reality similar to what you expressed in your video, “I feel in awe that I can make a baby, that I can make a life.” That was what I couldn’t escape.

I had been part of creating a life.

And then I had been part of ending that life.

There was a heartbeat and I stopped it. There was life and I ended it. That reality was inescapable. I tried to ignore it, but there was nowhere to hide. My telltale heart beat louder and louder. I had loved my life so much that I had been willing to kill my own child to protect my happiness.

I never got to hear their laughter. Never got to lock eyes for the first time. Never saw their smile or cheered for their first steps or understood their first words. I never heard them read for the first time or endure their endless questions about why the world is the way it is. I missed all that, and so did they because I took my child’s life.

Emily, my child would be 17 today. We would be planning road trips to look at colleges. We would be looking forward to our last family vacation before they left home. I would be giving my final parental pep talk about working hard and looking for the right kind of spouse. But none of that is happening.

The fact is that I cannot undo what I’ve done in the past. None of us can. What’s done is done. The only hope we have is found in the sinless Son of God who came to rescue people who have lost their way.

He entered into our broken world and our broken lives to rescue us from our sins, including the sin of taking the life of the children He gave to us. That’s why He died on the cross of Calvary, to take the judgment sinners like us deserve.

Emily, someday the YouTube hits will stop. Your supporters will put away their pom-poms and your opponents will put away their pitchforks. And my prayer for you is that when you can’t escape the haunting reality of what you’ve done, you will turn to Jesus.

Emily, Jesus will heal your wounds if you cry out to Him (Matthew 11:28). There is no sin so great that He cannot forgive and no sin so small that does not need to be forgiven. If you will confess what you have done and turn to Him in faith, He will wash away all your guilt and all your shame (1 John 1:9).

The Lord gives these words to people like us, “Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool” (Isaiah 1:18).

There is a place to go to be made new. I hope you will come and ask Jesus to turn your story into one where life is given. That’s what happened in my abortion story. Thanks for taking the time to listen.



Garrett Kell